Roseline Tinz: March 2021

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Hi everyone! How's your day? It's already winter in South Korea! Do you get excited when it is a snow day? We finally had the first snow of the year here in Seoul. The first snowfall of the year is an event that everyone seems to be waiting for but of course, nobody can beat my own excitement! Haha. The first real snowfall of the year is always fun to see.

My husband told me it is snowing outside. I was so happy and excited so when I woke up in the morning, I rushed to the window and peeked outside. I sit next to a window in the room, where I have a great view of the snow just starting to fall. Can you imagine my surprise and excitement when I suddenly saw the place right in front of my window all covered in snow? Here are pictures of the park that you can see right from our window!

I was debating with myself whether to go outside or not because snow is gonna be so cold however I couldn’t sleep anymore, so I took a shower, I got dressed up quickly and finally, I decided to go out.

Here are more photos of my winter wonderland. I feel kinda waste not to blog because I did take some pretty pictures from where I stay in. So, yeah enjoy!

Walking around here you will come across many works of art.

Lots of birds that come, colorful leaves that fall from the trees, and add to the beauty of nature.

The plant is covered with thick snowflakes.

Do you want to build a snowman? Come on let's go and play!

One thing that I would also say, about winter in South Korea, is that the temperatures didn’t drop as low as I thought they would. But the wind is crazy here. I think that was really the most difficult thing to deal with during the winter. The strong and cold wind, that gets under your head, and under your skin, freezes your ears, your nose, and can make your nose runny. That was a hard battle.

I came from the tropical country of Indonesia where I only get to experience two kinds of weather - summer and rainy season. Growing up in the tropics, we naturally don’t have snow. That’s why you could imagine how happy I was when snow had started to fall in Korea! This experience will always have a special place in my heart forever. Unfortunately, that afternoon the snowfall stopped. The next day, it’s gone. Hope will be back soon.

I will end it up with my shameless selfie since the lighting is just perfect! The cold never bothered me anyway. Haha.

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Hi guys! Hope you all had a great Whiteday! Finally I have some time to just sit down and do another of these blog posts where I can just sit down and write whatever is on my mind! Anyway, my whiteday was quiet, didn't do much but I really wanted to relax after working so much lately. Life has become super hectic that I forgot to make myself happy and do the things that I was once loved doing to make me feel content. But now I've promised to make time to make myself happy and do what is good for my soul. It's part of self care anyway!

Today I want to open up with you all. I hope you don't bully me or say I'm weak. lol Can you imagine how broken I was? Another fact about me, I am a goal oriented person, a perfectionist as well. I long for achievement in life, so when I fail it hits me hard. I know God prepared this for me, now I am extremely satisfied and thankful of what I've become.

I was too overwhelmed by my own fears, worries, and too focused on something I couldn't control. Little did I know God made an even better plan for me, a much bigger plan, God works in a way that maybe I won't understand, right now, but I will, later on... as long as I believe.

I know He hears my prayer and has always been guiding me, without I realizing. Failure is just the beginning of something bigger in life. Failure makes me learn and experience can never be bought with money. I treasure moment of failures, I believe that sometimes God lets me fail so that I learn and notice His presence. His blessings in the later days.

One day I had a conversation with my husband who told me about my first impression, he said I'm difficult to get to know and not approachable. This is true only if we have different frequency. I might look like a lone wolf who doesn't need any friends but trust me when we are close we can talk about everything under the sun or even bitching about other people together. I am a very choosy person when it comes to making friends and I believe, like radio, everyone has different frequencies. It's like a chemistry, we can be friendly with everyone but not everyone is our real friend. For me it's cause I want to be my real self with all my weirdness and quirks, not just constant nice small talk.

Eventho I look indifferent sometimes, my frequency sometimes got read by the right people. One day I've met a blogger friend in Singapore, who is much younger than me when we talk just connect naturally. We have that same frequency, we talked about life, religion, zodiac, cute things, cafe, culture, work, travel, food, art... basically, everything that we've been through, not just some empty talk or gossip about others. I seldom meet someone who is really eager to be friends with me, so I feel kinda amused and scared. For me, I don’t have time for anything that isn’t authentic and real. I’m not wasting energy on people that don’t serve my greater purpose and who aren’t in line with my lifestyle and goals. There are so many negative people and I don’t have the energy to be around anyone who isn’t a positive, happy person and be in a friendship where we lift each other up. Maybe your the same?

Maybe I'm on the passive side, I don't make effort to meet again because I don't like to force any relationship. I just let it flow, and if the time is right I believe we will meet again. For me my real friends are the one who knew me inside and out, maybe it took years to form that friendship. Maybe we've worked together or even travel together. we might not always talk together or meet often. We keep moving with our own pace in life, but once in a while they do reach out to say hi, how's life? (unlike some people who show up in your life everytime they want your help or need you to do something only). But yeah, I do have that real friends, those are the people who I cherish and remember the most.

Outfits of the day:

Sweater: Whoau

Jeans: Allbut

Shoes: Nike

Bag: Tory Burch

I apologize if this blog post doesn't really make sense. If you guys want me to talk about anything, leave me a comment and I am more than happy to talk about everything on my blog!

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9 years ago, I made the decision to pursue my dreams in a foreign country, living far away from my family. All these years, although I get to live the life that l've always dreamed of, deep inside I'm always burdened by guilt for not being able to spend more time with my mom and my best friend. I never stopped thinking whether I did the right thing in leaving home for this new venture every day.

To be honest, I always avoid talking about my deepest feelings, worries and fears to anyone. I always try to hide it and put up a strong image infront of everyone, I want them to believe that I'm strong, I'm capable, and I'm independent. Well by myself, also by having that kind of mindset, it's one of the main reasons how I manage to live independently for so long.

I've been pushing myself and working like crazy lately, and it's not because I love to work or I'm too ambitious. Everything it's because I'm trying to distract myself from not thinking about certain things. I'm worn out, sad, depressed, I barely have enough sleep recently, my body is exhausted, and my mind and mental are worse. My life took a very dark turn but I'm happy it did.

Through these experiences, I was able to learn and grow as a person. It obviously sucked in the moment but when you look back, it was something that was meant to happen. I mean, everything happens for a reason. I was able to find my passion and purpose in life that I would have never expected to find – at least so soon. I met so many great people who brought such positivity in my life and I'll forever be grateful for that.

I often struggle with opening up, talk about my problems to people because I know there's no use of complaining, or talk about it. At the end it's my problem I'm the only person who can solve it anyway, I also don't want others to worry about me. Being on the social media is the hardest to be honest. I have to constantly keep updating about what I do, thinking what I am gonna do, how I'm gonna act infront of people while deep inside I feel like shit. Fulfilling my families requests at the same time receiving judgements and criticisms from them everyday.

Sometimes I really just want to scream and let everybody knows that I'm tired, stressed "I'm not okay" "I'm not in the mood for this, not in the mood to please anyone" "Just leave me alone". But there's no way I can do that, I'm not trying to blame anyone, I'm not complaining about my life, my family or work as well, I just think that I need to let you know I'm having a mental breakdown, I'm struggling, I'm having a hard time. I'm incapable of pleasing or help anyone.

Of course, I won't be able to make it this far if it wasn't for husband's continuous support, love and encouragement. When I face problems, what keeps me calm and positive all the time besides knowing that my husband and friends will always be there for me is I believe "there's always a solution to every problem" as long as I'm not giving up, there's always a hope. I will keep looking for ways until solve the problem. If plan A doesn't work, try plan B, if B doesn't work, try plan C or D etc.

Recently I also learned that there are things in life that no matter how hard you try, there's a limit to it and sometimes there's nothing you can do but to accept it. At times like this, it also makes me realize how I should appreciate every little things in life in order for me to keep going on. Always remember that it is the small things in life which make it worth living. Once we missed everything, once those things that we have today were gone out of the blue, we will regret not looking and appreciating it when we still have it. Don't forget to be thankful for what you had, and be grateful for what you have. Please treasure people around you and show them how much you love them, how much they mean to you while you still have the chance.

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