Hi guys! Hope you all had a great Whiteday! Finally I have some time to just sit down and do another of these blog posts where I can just sit down and write whatever is on my mind! Anyway, my whiteday was quiet, didn't do much but I really wanted to relax after working so much lately. Life has become super hectic that I forgot to make myself happy and do the things that I was once loved doing to make me feel content. But now I've promised to make time to make myself happy and do what is good for my soul. It's part of self care anyway!
Today I want to open up with you all. I hope you don't bully me or say I'm weak. lol Can you imagine how broken I was? Another fact about me, I am a goal oriented person, a perfectionist as well. I long for achievement in life, so when I fail it hits me hard. I know God prepared this for me, now I am extremely satisfied and thankful of what I've become.
I was too overwhelmed by my own fears, worries, and too focused on something I couldn't control. Little did I know God made an even better plan for me, a much bigger plan, God works in a way that maybe I won't understand, right now, but I will, later on... as long as I believe.
I know He hears my prayer and has always been guiding me, without I realizing. Failure is just the beginning of something bigger in life. Failure makes me learn and experience can never be bought with money. I treasure moment of failures, I believe that sometimes God lets me fail so that I learn and notice His presence. His blessings in the later days.
One day I had a conversation with my husband who told me about my first impression, he said I'm difficult to get to know and not approachable. This is true only if we have different frequency. I might look like a lone wolf who doesn't need any friends but trust me when we are close we can talk about everything under the sun or even bitching about other people together. I am a very choosy person when it comes to making friends and I believe, like radio, everyone has different frequencies. It's like a chemistry, we can be friendly with everyone but not everyone is our real friend. For me it's cause I want to be my real self with all my weirdness and quirks, not just constant nice small talk.
Eventho I look indifferent sometimes, my frequency sometimes got read by the right people. One day I've met a blogger friend in Singapore, who is much younger than me when we talk just connect naturally. We have that same frequency, we talked about life, religion, zodiac, cute things, cafe, culture, work, travel, food, art... basically, everything that we've been through, not just some empty talk or gossip about others. I seldom meet someone who is really eager to be friends with me, so I feel kinda amused and scared. For me, I don’t have time for anything that isn’t authentic and real. I’m not wasting energy on people that don’t serve my greater purpose and who aren’t in line with my lifestyle and goals. There are so many negative people and I don’t have the energy to be around anyone who isn’t a positive, happy person and be in a friendship where we lift each other up. Maybe your the same?
Maybe I'm on the passive side, I don't make effort to meet again because I don't like to force any relationship. I just let it flow, and if the time is right I believe we will meet again. For me my real friends are the one who knew me inside and out, maybe it took years to form that friendship. Maybe we've worked together or even travel together. we might not always talk together or meet often. We keep moving with our own pace in life, but once in a while they do reach out to say hi, how's life? (unlike some people who show up in your life everytime they want your help or need you to do something only). But yeah, I do have that real friends, those are the people who I cherish and remember the most.
Sweater: Whoau
Jeans: Allbut
Shoes: Nike
Bag: Tory Burch
I apologize if this blog post doesn't really make sense. If you guys want me to talk about anything, leave me a comment and I am more than happy to talk about everything on my blog!
2
Comments
